Help!Support group needed!

Hello, I'm Scotsman's wife and I've never posted here but I feel I need to get some help.
( I know, I know, I MUST be a saint to put with him).
Anyway, I'm forming a support group for other wives or significant others who are having trouble coping with the increasing bizarre behaviour of their spouses.
I'm calling it SPOUSES who LOVE OBSESSED BACKCOUNTRY SKIERS or SLOBS for short.

A few of the issues I am facing right now are:
1. He's keeps telling me I'll  just have to get used to Mormon underwear as we're moving to UTAH if it doesn't snow soon.

2. When the KIRO weather man comes on and says, " the good news is that it's going to be above normal temperatures this weekend with no rain, " he stands shouting obscenities and threatening to castrate the poor guy with his teeth.

3. Is it normal for a 50 year old man to have a Mark Abma poster with a " Scotsman keep living the dream" autograph , taped to the headboard of our bed and for him to say " night, night Marky, you're my powder piggy" every night when he turns out the light.

Anyway I could go on, but I have to go as he's shouting he just found the beacon he's been making me hide around the house while he counts to 50! It's BEACON PRACTISE night..........

Please, please help!

Really, Scotty,
Cross dressing as Pam?

You should be ashamed of yourself.  You didn't actually think you could disguise your unique writing style and make us think you were Pam did you?

Pam's got WAY too much class to make a rant like that.

Nonetheless, I believe everything you said about yourself.

Anyway, just calm down.  We'll have skiable snow soon. 
And quit pestering Pam, Stewart and Chuggy!!

Damn! Foiled again!

Chris, you crack me up! I have a small poster of Kit DesLauries skiing Everest, autographed "Keep the Intention", but it is not above my bed, rather on the fridge. Don't sweat it, the snow will come.

And as I read this, my gf was reading over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Sign me up!  I'll join that!"

You're not alone in cursing the weatherman either. Power in numbers!

"IT's a cult I'm telling ya!" Laurie