Gear Review: The Pop-Tarts 07/08 Line

Introduction

Those of you that have been shopping for your summer ski tours in the breakfast aisle may have noticed quite a few innovations in what many of us might have considered a fairly uninteresting field: breakfast toaster pastries. Most of these are from the Kellogg corporation's time-tested Pop-Tarts product line.

Now as we all know, a Pop-Tart is not just for breakfast, and is in fact considered a key piece of approach gear by many TAY die-hards. The second-place result for the industry standard Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart in Amar's Calories-Per-Dollar Smackdown earlier this year proves that. (Besides, I still think Little Debbie might have done something improprietary to influence the judges to award her brownies the First Place standing; that innocent little-girl exterior is just a facade).

Kellogg's is really pushing the envelope with some of their 07/08 product line. I decided to take it on myself to product-test several of the newer offerings and provide a no-holds-barred review here for Turns-All-Year. Besides, I needed 3 "Shrek tokens" from the boxes to get my "free" Shrek "helmet hat" for lift skiing, and my daughter wanted the "Donkey" ears so that's three more Shrek tokens. Those helmet hats are the bomb.

On to the reviews!


Go-Tarts (flavors tested: Strawberry, Cinnamon)

http://www2.kelloggs.com/ServeImage.aspx?BID=25265&MD5=c93cdb31579468b325d238d33c38a683&W=80

The Go-Tart was the product that initially motivated the testing and review. As we've all discovered, the primary design flaw of the Pop-Tart is durability. It just doesn't have enough torsional strength to hold its own when carried in a stuff sack inside a pack. More often than not, your Pop Tart will emerge from the foil in several segments. In most cases that is not a great hardship so long as the pieces are bite size. But on some particularly grueling approaches, or if the Pop-Tart has been fighting a losing battle against an adjacent Guiness can, the result can be difficult to eat, and offering up some crumbs to the snaffles is inevitable.

The Go-Tart is the Pop-Tart's attempt to free itself from the tyranny of the toaster-bound form factor and enter into direct competition with more expensive energy bars and other yuppie fodder. This direction is in itself refreshing, an admission by Kelloggs that not everyone sees it necessary to toast. The more tubular shape would seem to offer a better rigidity for the pack-in test that Pop-Tarts have failed in the past.

But alas. It is not so. The Go-Tarts held up no better to a typical approach than the old-school models would have. The exterior edges (particularly corners) crumbled, and the filling squeezed through any incipient cracks just the same. There is a little more air included in the foil package for cushion, but it didn't seem to help.

And the taste. This is where the Go-Tart really misses the mark. My 7-year-old co-tester Sophia put it succinctly: she said it tasted like a Nutri-Grain bar. I couldn't think of a more apt or damning statement than that myself. Like a NutriGrain bar. Yeesh. She was right. I reflected on what the reasons for this might be, then it came to me. The Go-Tart's changed surface area meant that the ratio of frosting/shell/filling was drastically altered. There was a bit more shell, and a LOT less frosting. And what is the best part of a pop tart? Well duh, the frosting!

My advice: skip the Go-Tart. If you are worried about the stiffness and durability, you are much better off trying after-market solutions such as Tupperware on your existing Pop-Tarts than you are with the disappointing Go-Tart.

Splitz! (Flavors tested: Strawberry/Blueberry)

http://www2.kelloggs.com/ServeImage.aspx?BID=26883&MD5=253b2303898565b3ad4b34a24a02efe0&W=80

The Splitz is a twin-chamber design, with different, theoretically complementary filling flavors each contained within the same Pop-Tart shell. At first glance, I thought that they might be targeting this product at the obvious though small segment (splitboarders) or perhaps at the much larger stoned snowboarder segment ("oh dude .... do I want a strawberry Pop-Tart, or a blueberry Pop-Tart .... aw man .... I just can't decide!!!)

Now call me old school but I initially thought that two flavors in the same Pop-Tart was an unnecessary gimic. But actually, I kind of liked the variety. The twin-chambers did nothing to help the lateral strength; they break up under pressure just the same. But it's fun to see your Pop-Tart bleed two different colors! Also, Kelloggs took the extra step of not only providing two different colors of frosting on the respective sides, they even used two different textures. This might be useful for identifying the side of the Splitz Pop-Tart you want in low-light situations.

I didn't try the chocolate-vanilla Splitz flavor. In general I don't like any of the chocolate Pop-Tart flavors, but given the number of chocolate variants in the main Pop-Tarts line I might be in the minority here. If these take off, I could imagine a few other flavor combinations that might be intriguing.

Pop-Tarts Printed Fun (flavors tested: Brown Sugar Cinnamon / HotWheels and Strawberry / Trivial Pursuit)

http://www2.kelloggs.com/ServeImage.aspx?BID=27989&MD5=360d8a71c0f98e283f2ae3e29c834a1e&W=80

These really jump out at you from the shelves. Kelloggs is trying to revolutionize the industry here with their printed topsheet graphics. I think they're shooting for the kind of splash Salomon and Elan had when they came out with the first "monocoque" skis in the Eighties.

Despite the bold attempt here, I was not swayed by the graphics. I just went with the ones that had flavors I liked. I think Kelloggs is wasting a great opportunity here, and not understanding their market. Two of the three designs are clearly for the under-9 age group. The third Trivial Pursuit offering is perhaps less age specific, but the questions were not that hard. Now think: who eats more Pop-Tarts really? Kids? Or computer geeks? I would say the geek factor here is pretty high, yet nothing on these topsheets that really has any geek appeal. If Kelloggs really wants to bust this market place wide open, I could think of a TON of things I'd rather see on a Pop-Tart. Say, for instance, a Jessica Alba Pop-Tart. I'd hit that. I'd even buy a chocolate one for that.

Or, at least put some substantive reading material on these things. Even for food applications, small font print readability has gotten pretty good. I'm sure that tent bound Alaskan adventurers would enjoy a page or two of literature, as might we all. I can dream, can't I? Proust on a Pop-Tart. Or at least Potter (as in Harry). That is my dream.

Oh yeah. The Pop-Tart. You're probably wondering how it tasted and stuff. Pretty much the same. Wouldn't be surprised if they sandblasted the tops off their '06 backstock and just resurfaced these with the new topsheet. Just do like I did and stick to the flavors you like. If you like Hot Wheels, more power to you. Me, I'm just going to stick with the old school regular Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon here. Or holding out for Jessica.

Summary

I'd say of these three, go ahead and give the Splitz a try, especially you snowboarders. But otherwise, despite some flashy features, I don't think Kelloggs has done much to improve the Pop-Tart for backcountry use. I'll probably write them and suggest that future designs might do well to include a stiff cardboard torsion box that is contained inside the foil. Or maybe an interior Titanal sheet that is actually contained within the jam (although that would really drive the price point up).

I'll let you know whether the Shrek Helmet Hat is worth the effort, but I won't know that for 6-8 weeks. Hopefully, by then, the snow will be flying!

For now, happy skiing and snacking!

-wolf

Resources

www.kelloggs.com Pop Tarts section here gives you the run down on all the flavors, including (why?) a "low fat" version
www.poptarts.com - an annoying Flash site that again makes the mistake of assuming that only kids like Pop Tarts. Come on Kelloggs, get out there in the field and take a look at how your product is really being used!
www.go-tarts.com - even more annoying Go-Tart specific Flash subsite. They don't even have their full product line up to date here. Plainly done by marketing and not by anyone that's grass-roots in the breakfast pastry field

"People don't wear enough hats"
"People have too much time on their hands"

- my friend DaveBob

Nicely done, Wolfs.
Per chance you should head out a new gear review section.

IntroductionTwo of the three designs are clearly for the under-9 age group.

Ahhhhhh, isn't it great, looking at world through the eyes of a child , especially the cereal isle .  Good luck with your quest for the Shrek helmet hat and "Donkey" ears.   Can't wait to see photos.